The Babylon Lane Tales - Filed under 'youtube'

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viva la diva.

It is with great sadness that I announce that the "my mummy says..." series has been cancelled with immediate effect (here and here).

The star of the show has become increasingly difficult to work with; refusing to take direction and insisting on complete script control. Before she would get out of bed to shoot the last video, her diva-dom included extortionate cash demands (equivalent to several shitty smurf ipad apps), her body weight in gobstoppers, and a caravan so she could rest her voice, between takes.

She is one bath full of blue smarties from becoming Mariah Carey. I have created a beast and can't afford or condone anymore of her imperious insistances. (A deluxe motorhome decorated with barbie vomit-pink sequins; separate dressing rooms for her entourage - ten seamonkeys, two rabbits, three legless action men and Bob the flying bear; a rainbow striped, winged unicorn to transport her to set; and, a special attendant to hand feed her cheese strings.)

So I'm afraid our working relationship can no longer continue. Don't even get me started on the bloody prima donna hens.

With a nod towards tradition, here are the out-takes. See what I mean? Trust me, don't work with children or animals. Ever.

read previous post: despite their very best efforts they are anything but normal.

Tags » Tales from the Crib choovers my mummy says youtube
- 2 October 2011
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the choover challenge: four hens, one hoover & a bloody filthy floor.

The irony of being invited to a Dirt Devil promotion is not lost on me. Happen it's not irony at all - maybe the people from Dirt Devil were staging a slattern intervention. Or worse, they were concerned for the health and safety of my small child. After all not many children can survive with a mother who'd rather eat her own feet than clean the non-doorside of the bed. I make no apologies for my predilection for dusting my mantle with the cuff of my blouse, filing my paperwork in the oven, using the chickens to clean the kitchen floor and counting skittles as one of my five-a-day:

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Tags » choovers clarks mary portas dirt devil my mummy says tales from the crib youtube
- 17 September 2011
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put down the knitting, the book and the broom...

This week I am being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 21st Century by the MAD Blog Award people. To my horror, I've been asked to produce a short video of me telling you lovely folk what The Babylon Lane Tales is all about and why you should vote for me in the awards.

Sounds simple? Well it isn't.

When faced with public speaking/recording/strangers I become an inarticulate, mumbling baffoon. This usually results in me curling myself into a ball of snooty aloofness, which would make you all recoil and try to rescind any votes you may have already thrown in my general direction.

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Tags » MAD awards Sally Bowles Tales from the Crib cabaret my mummy says youtube
- 9 June 2011
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The Babylon Lane Tales 2012
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